Monday, June 14, 2010

my struggle to get that which is inside, out.

I've come to the realization that once God creates the 48 hour day, I'll be in much better shape. I am just seriously struggling getting completed, that which NEEDS to be done, much less that which my soul is yearning to express. I know I have things to share, creatively... a lot, that is. However, when to do it? Because something of creative nature, is never a "squeeze it in between loads of laundry and t-ball" thing. They take time. They take pondering, thinking, tweeking.....

A few months ago, when the Hubby and I went to AZ for a few days, I realized that I had a lot to say, to share (not with him per se..... though having uninterrupted conversations was amazing!) Yet, it was the first time in a long period that I had time to sit... and think..... and process thoughts. Anyone who is a mother gets where I am going here. The incessant "Mom!" "Mommy! " I need.........(fill in blank)" "I want.........." is like, well being pecked to death by a chicken. So to sit for a couple hours without anyone speaking to you is almost alarming. I realized, "I can do ANYTHING I WANT!!" and then realized I had no clue what that was...... I picked up a notebook and started writing, and this is when I still have a lot to say, to share, to express...... and now I realize I struggle to find a moment to do it. I fully realize this chaos is temporary, and I will miss it one day. I am not wishing it away in the least. Just taking the struggle in, processing it, and trying to figure out how to slice a bit of time for myself. So once I get the memo that a day will be extended to 48 hours, you will see some rejoicing!!!


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