How I see it

As I was running errands today, saw a Porsche SUV. Now, I didn't even know Porsche would stoop to this level, but I was mistaken. This is how I see it: Lets pretend for a moment, I had more money than I knew what to do with, and decided I wanted a Porsche. I believe the point of having a Porsche is so that I could, let's say, go pick up my best friend Petra, and only her, we could use valet parking while we drank expensive wine at lunch and then go buy shoes.... and lot of shoes... and they could all be different black shoes........ahh, but I digress. My point is, a Porsche is a two-seater... a FAST two seater... a car that screams "Mid-life crisis" or "He got the 25 year old, I got the Porsche."

Now here is how I see the Porsche SUV. SUVs are generally designed as the modern day station wagon, i.e carting the kids around. I haven't been at this parenthood a long time, but let's say you spend the equivalent of a small African country's gross national product, and bought the, what is it called, oh yeah, the Cayenne. While the kid is kicking the back of your sumptuous, inviting leather seat, with his muddy shoes, that oh, he also walked through dog poo with, he is throwing his tippy cup at your head. But wait, the plug didn't get securely placed in the cup, and you have 12 oz of milk sprayed throughout your cockpit, your surroundings are spacious and wonderfully accommodating. And now they have their daily supply of calcium too. Finely cultivated and attentively finished, the interior immerses you in control and comfort. (That is if, by chance, you ever got to drive it alone.) Now the sun comes out and after 3 or 4 days, and despite your vehicle being blessed with its athletic abilities that are reflected in a broad stance and aggressive four-tube sports tailpipe, it stinks just like my lil' ol Subaru. And that is how I see it.